Cooking
by IrishSmurph
Summary: Part four. Over dinner and drinks will Olivia finally let go of what she's been hiding, or bury it deeper then before? A/O
1. Chapter 1

Title: Cooking

Disclaimer: These don't belong to me, just borrowing them

Pairing: Benson/Cabot (though if you're reading this and still haven't figured it out…come on)

A/N: Part Four (wow) of my "Actions" series. First is "Running", Second is "Dancing" and third is "Inviting". And any mistakes are my own, this is un-beta'd

-=-

Olivia bounced her leg, looking up at the clock for the hundredth time in the last two minutes. Nope, the minute hand still hadn't moved much farther then it did the last time she'd looked. Maybe that was a good thing, put off going to this. It was one of the few times that she wished for a crime scene…though she then felt extremely guilty for wishing harm on an innocent just so she'd get out of a dinner.

_'Maybe just a simple kidnapping where we'll find the guy in say…four hours with everyone fine and the guy would go quietly?'_ By then she'd be too late to go and no one would be hurt. Good all around.

Frustration peaking Olivia stood up and walked over to the coffee pot, glaring down into the sludgy depths and rethinking her plans for coffee. _'I'm twitchy as is…this stuff would probably make me have a heart attack. Well then I'd have an excuse.' _Shaking her head again she poured some hot water into a mug and went over to her locker, pulling out a small box of teabags she kept in there just in case. Dunking one into the water she walked back to her desk and sat back down, turning her attention onto the piles of paperwork in front of her. _'There's no way I can focus on these. I can barely do that on a good day.'_ She wondered if she was blowing this out of proportion. It was just dinner with a friend and her niece, just two colleagues eating together.

_'Except I want to kiss said colleague until neither of us can breath…and damn near did that last week.'_

Her phone going off startled the detective badly, drawing a raised eyebrow from her partner who'd been watching her with growing confusion and worry for the past ten minutes.

"Benson," She gruffed into the phone, before clearing her throat and saying it again.

"Olivia?"

"Yes?" The voice was high and unfamiliar, puckering Olivia's brows as she tried to figure out who was on the line.

"Hi, it's Danny. I was calling to see if you were still gonna make it tonight."

"Dan…Oh hi Danny." Moment of truth. _'I could always just say that something has come up, not like she'd know.'_ A pair of puppy dog blue/green eyes swam into her memory and Olivia sighed. "Yeah I am. I'll be leaving work in a few minutes."

"COOL!" Olivia jerked the phone away quickly as Elliot's head snapped up. "Great, I'll tell Aunty Lexy you're on your way. Be careful, see you. Bye."

"Bye," Olivia barely got out before Danny hung up. She was left staring at the phone in confusion before flipping it closed.

"Who was that?" Elliot asked.

"That was Alex's niece, Danielle. She had invited me to dinner and was calling me to see if I was still coming." She looked up to see his face still fully confused and went on to tell him about yesterday in the coffee shop.

"Ahh that's cute," Elliot finally said, earning a paper ball to the head. "Is that what's had you so jittery today."

"I have not been jittery." It was a bald face lie, they both knew it but she'd be damned if she were going to outright admit to it.

"Uh huh, sure. Whatever you say, Liv," Elliot mumbled, easily ignoring the dirty glare thrown his way. "Go ahead and get outta here. I'll finish up here."

Olivia paused, shuffling the papers on her desk. She couldn't bring herself to move even though she knew she needed to. She was nervous as all hell, but maybe there was nothing to be nervous about. Maybe this was the perfect chance to get back to how they used to be, just two friends hanging out. Yeah, everything would be fine.

_'Just keep telling yourself that Benson.'_


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Cooking  
Disclaimer: These don't belong to me, just borrowing them  
Pairing: Benson/Cabot (though if you're reading this and still haven't figured it out…come on)  
A/N: Part Four (wow) of my "Actions" series. First is "Running", Second is "Dancing" and third is "Inviting". This is un-beat'd so any mistakes are my own.  
A/N2: I apologize for taking so long. RL and Writer's Block were keeping me from even being near the computer for long periods of time. Thanks to everyone that read and commented. You've made this little Smurph so happy ^.^

-=-

"I'll get it!"

Despite her nerves Olivia couldn't help but smile at the obvious enthusiasm in the young voice. The door opened to show a brightly smiling Danielle.

"Olivia!" She squealed, wrapping the smirking detective in a hug.

"Hey, kiddo," Olivia chuckled stepping inside and closing the door behind her. After shucking her jacket the two walked into the living room, Olivia smiling down softly at the young blonde still attached to her hip. The delicious smell of pasta sauce and spaghetti hit her nose and her mouth started to water. Brown eyes turned towards the source of the smell and her mouth began to water for a different type of reason. Alex was moving about the kitchen, dressed in black slacks and a sapphire shirt that hugged her curves and breasts softly. Olivia followed the v-neck down and immediately turned away.

"Are you okay, Liv? Your face is really red," Danny replied, staring worriedly up at her taller friend.

Olivia fought down the extra wave of embarrassment when Alex turned to look at them, her own blue eyes flashing with worry. "Yeah, it was just real cold outside, kiddo."

"Well come on," Danny tugged her over to the couch and sat her down. A fire was crackling in the small fireplace, giving off a warmth that was pleasant and quickly chasing any lingering chill out of her body. "Would you like anything to drink? Dinner should be ready soon."

Olivia was half tempted to ask for a stiff drink, but kept herself in check. "What do you have?"

Danny rattled off a list quickly, but Olivia picked out 'juice' and went with that. As the young girl went to go get the glass Olivia settled back she pinched the bridge of her nose, wondering again if this was going to be a good idea. The warmth in her lower regions was screaming a loud 'NO!' to that question.

"Here ya go," Danny smiled, holding out the glass before settling next to the Detective. Olivia listened quietly as Danny began a very animated, one sided discussion on her school and friends.

"So Miles Porter was being all mean and stuff to Jill Daniel and Melanie Sanders and our teacher Ms. Waters told him to stop, but Miles didn't stop…"

Olivia couldn't keep the smile from her lips as she tried very hard to keep all the names straight. Even with all her experience on the force she was having trouble.

"Danny! Come help me in the kitchen." Alex called out. Danny was up like a shot and disappeared into the other room. Olivia sat uncomfortably for a few moments before getting up and following. She was feeling antsy and sitting around doing nothing was not an option.

"Oh, hey Olivia. You can go ahead and sit down. I'm just draining the pasta now," Alex said as she moved a large pot over to the sink and poured the contents into a large colander. Her head moved back slightly to keep from getting a face full of steam.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Olivia asked, trying not to fidget.

"You can help me," Danny said, holding out a small stack of plates. Olivia took them and followed her over to the table where they set four places. A dark eyebrow rising on her forehead Olivia turned to Danny. "Who's the fourth place for?"

She watched a blush stain the young girl's face, though there was a bright smile to accompany it as well. "Umm, just a friend," She mumbled, digging her toe into the carpet.

"His name is Jason Billings. He lives two floors up and goes to Danny's school. I invited him over for dinner since it seems these two have a project due together," Alex said, smiling softly at her niece as she brought the food into set in the middle of the table just as the doorbell rang. Olivia bit the inside of her cheek when she saw red flush hot over Danny's cheeks before she made her way over to the door and opened it. On the other side was a brown haired boy with gangly limbs and a dimpled smile.

"Hey Danny. Am I late?"

"No, umm come on in." Olivia and Alex shared a smile at the nervousness in Danny's voice.

_'Oh to be that young and innocent again. Seems like it's been forever since I was like that…or was I ever like that?'_ Knowing if she didn't stop now her thoughts would turn dark Olivia turned to the table, noting the others sitting down. She took the last available seat, between Danny and Alex and across from Jason. The meal was simple, spaghetti with sauce and garlic bread, but for Olivia, whose diet for the last few days had consisted of take out, doughnuts and coffee it was exquisite and she had to keep herself from scarfing everything down.

Conversation was light, consisted mainly of Jason and Danny talking, both to one another and asking Alex and Olivia questions. The detective found herself relaxing, finding herself comforted by the good food, warm atmosphere and even warmer company. It also did her weary soul good to see children smiling and talking on as if there wasn't a care in the world. It was a more then welcome respite to the usual dredge and horror she saw.

After dinner Jason and Danny cleaned off their plates, put them in the dishwasher and scurried off to work on their project, leaving Olivia and Alex alone. Quietly they put away their own dishes, Olivia insisting on helping to clean up. The awkwardness was returning and Olivia said the first thing that popped into her mind. "That was really good. You don't strike me as a chef, Councilor." She didn't receive an answer and turned to the blonde. Blue eyes were concentrated intently on the plate in her hands, even though she had stopped scrubbing at it. "Alex? You okay?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing."

Olivia's head shot back slightly in surprise. "What do you…I'm fine."

"Really? Is that why you've been avoiding me like the plague since last weekend?" Alex snapped. Olivia closed her eyes and let out a breath. She knew that this was going to happen. "Only talking with me when it came to cases, barely making eye contact with me? I was surprised you even came tonight." The blonde's tone had become increasingly sharper, until the last sentence which cut through Olivia and had guilt bubbling up.

Staring down at her hands Olivia was shocked at the hurt she heard behind the venom as well. She had thought she'd been doing the right thing, but now with the guilt gnawing at her she wasn't sure. But it was better for the both of them that Olivia get herself under control so she wouldn't do something stupid. Wasn't it?

"I'm sorry I just…" Just what, Olivia? _'Just wanted to keep away from you so I wouldn't push you up against a wall and kiss you senseless.'_

"You're sorry? Right now I feel like I should be saying that and I'm not even sure what I did."

"No you didn't do anything," Olivia quickly said. "We just both got a little to tipsy and…" She trailed off, unsure what to say or do. What could she really say or do at the moment?

"Tipsy huh…you don't just avoid someone because they got too tipsy. What is it that I did that made you so uncomfortable?" Alex turned to stare at her, blue eyes drilling into the side of the Detective's face.

_'I knew I shouldn't have come over.'_ "It's…Alex please just let it go." She had been reduced to begging, and hated it. Hated this entire situation. Why couldn't they just go back to how they were? She turned and started to walk towards the fridge for something stronger to drink but stopped herself, instead veering off to the window. She needed distance, needed to put space between herself and Alex. Yet she couldn't bring herself to leave. More laughter drifted to the quiet of the living room from the back bedroom and Olivia rubbed at the tense muscles on the back of her neck. _'I shouldn't have come,'_ She thought sadly, unaware she had even said the words until she heard a soft, hurt voice say behind her, "Then maybe you should just go."

Olivia turned, dark eyes taking in the blonde leaning in the archway of the kitchen. For all the world to see she looked stone faced and resilient, but for Olivia, who made a living seeing behind people's masks, she could see the hurt in blue eyes and the slight slump to thin looking shoulders.

Her heart broke and she turned away, unsure what to do. _'You wanted distance, Benson…here you have it. As much distance as the fucking Grand Canyon.'_ Right now she knew she had to turn around there was no question about that. But it was the choice after that would mean everything. Would she turn around and leave, putting them back at the distance that would keep Olivia's feelings secret and things more simple, if strained, between them. Or would she turn around and sit next to Alex, explain why she did what she did…

_'Tick tock, Detective. Make a choice.'_


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Cooking  
Disclaimer: These don't belong to me, just borrowing them  
Pairing: Benson/Cabot (though if you're reading this and still haven't figured it out…come on)  
A/N: Part Four (wow) of my "Actions" series. First is "Running", Second is "Dancing" and third is "Inviting".  
A/N2: Thanks to everyone who commented

Taking a deep breath Olivia turned and willed her legs to move. There was no choice, never had been. Things couldn't keep going the way they were, something had to change…

She sat on the couch and nodded for Alex to join her. There was a tense moment as the blonde was stone still. But finally Alex moved, coming to sit stiffly on the couch, her body angled away from the detective. "Alex," Olivia said softly, reaching out and after a slight hesitation rested her hand on the blonde's forearm. "You don't have to apologize to me…ever. I should be saying sorry," She licked dry lips, but forced herself to continue. "Last Saturday…last Saturday we had gone out and you had gotten a little drunk. I'm not upset with anything you did…more with how I almost handled the situation."

"What situation?" Alex asked softly, her voice even yet harsh. "What did I do that made you so upset? Hit on you? Kiss you?"

"We danced together, quiet closely," Olivia acquiesced. "But no you didn't kiss me." _'Not for lack of trying.'_ "You started to get dizzy so I brought you back here, got you cleaned up and helped you lay down."

"I remember that part. You were perfect," Alex said, her voice softening ever so slightly and Olivia felt her cheeks heat up as the words were said more then just a statement of facts, but almost as a compliment. The blonde shook her head slightly as if shaking herself from thoughts before blue eyes hardened once more. "What did you mean _almost_ handled it."

"We were both a little drunk and I almost…"

"Almost what?" Alex's voice was softer, but blue eyes were still staring intently into brown.

"Can we just forget about what happened? Just go back to how things were before that night?"

Alex sighed, turning away again. Olivia thought for a moment the blonde was disappointed, but she chalked that up to her own imagination. She watched the ADA cross her arms, her body stiff and almost looking as if she was preparing for a fight.

"What if I don't want to?" The words were so soft, so pain filled Olivia wondered if she heard them even as her heart began to break.

"Alex?"

"I don't want to forget." The blonde gave a sad, humorless chuckle. "The past few weeks since…finding that bastard LunDuvall, since basically being disowned by my family…all of that I would gladly forget."

Olivia was shocked at the news of the woman's family. She didn't know that Alex's family was that mad at her. _'Then again it's not like you've really been around her since his sentencing have you, Benson?'_ She snapped at herself, forcing her mind back to Alex's words.

"I'd gladly erase all of that…but…not you…not any of the memories of us together. Whether it was out on a run, working or even last weekend. And before you ask yes I remember last weekend. Not all of it, but enough."

Stunned silence was the only response for the blonde's confession. Blue eyes turned to glance at widening brown. "Olivia?"

She didn't know what to say. Words were escaping the detective and as every moment passed in silence she saw the worry and fear ratchet up another notch in the ADA's body.

"What…what do you remember?"

"Only flashes really…but I do remember almost kissing you. And you stopping me and then taking me back here and taking care of me. Even though I acted like an idiot, you still took care of me. I woke up the next morning feeling awful…then when I got to work I felt even worse. I thought I'd lost my best friend."

The vulnerability in the normally stoic blonde broke Olivia who wrapped her hand gently around the blonde's arm, tugging just as softly. Alex turned her eyes towards the Detective and an eyebrow raised in question. Olivia cursed softly when she immediately felt the muscle under her hand tense and said, "You can't lose me."

"This last week would be a perfect example of the opposite, Detective." Alex snapped, her previous hurt roaring back. The statement cut through Olivia and she dropped her gaze, knowing she deserved it.

"I'm not…great with expressing myself, Alex. Usually if someone doesn't have to do with a case I'm clueless," Olivia said, knowing honesty was the best policy at the moment. Despite how much she wanted to be running right now. "My relationships tend to go badly, me and Elliot's being one of the very few exceptions, and…I want to make up for being an ass this last week. When you needed me most. Please," She asked softly, looking straight into Alex's eyes and willing her to see the sincerity.

Time seemed to still as a silent battle seemed to rage. As the second ticked by Olivia grew more and more worried that it was too late to fix their friendship. Just as she was bringing her hand away she felt more then saw Alex move forward and soon she was experiencing the exquisite sensation of Alexandra Cabot buried in her arms. Without thinking Olivia leaned back, propping herself in the small nitch were the arm of the sofa met the back and let Alex lean farther on her.

_'This is asking for trouble! Back away now!'_ Her inner voice screamed but Olivia slapped it away. Listening to it before had caused both herself and the woman she cared the most about a lot of hurt. Right now she was going to offer comfort, treasure this feeling and worry about consequences later.

Besides Alex _needed_ comfort right now, more then anything else. She wasn't going to deny the woman that.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Cooking  
Disclaimer: These don't belong to me, just borrowing them  
Pairing: Benson/Cabot (though if you're reading this and still haven't figured it out…come on)  
A/N: Part Four (wow) of my "Actions" series. First is "Running", Second is "Dancing" and third is "Inviting".

-=-

"Aunty Alex?"

Olivia felt sleep slowly recede as the body in her arms stir and heard soft voices converse before silence once more. She was half tempted to go back to sleep until she felt as if she was being stared at. Blinking her eyes open she saw Alex looking at her, a strange expression on her face that quickly disappeared when the blonde realized she was being watched.

"Hey," Olivia gruffed, yawning widely.

"Hey yourself. Sorry that I fell asleep on you."

"No worries," Olivia said, trying to ignore the wonderful feeling of the blonde's frame pressed into her own, the feel of firm breasts pressing into her stomach or the weight of slim hips pressing in between her own legs. _'Yep…gotta ignore that…yep…'_ "We've both been pretty busy lately. Guess good food and wine just kinda caught up." She was surprised when instead of moving away Alex settled back on top of her, the blonde head cradled upon Olivia's chest.

"You know I'm still mad at you, right?" Alex mumbled, blue eyes staring into the fire that had crackled itself almost out.

Olivia stiffened, drawing a blue gaze to her face. "Yeah, I know…"

"Good…" Blue eyes turned back to the fire. Olivia felt herself struggle with what to do, surprised again when she felt a hand reach for her own and move it so her arm was wrapped around the blonde once again. "You piss me off so bad sometimes…but you also make me feel protected." The words were soft, vulnerable and Olivia found herself falling harder.

Taking a deep breath Olivia wrapped both arms around the ADA and gave her a gentle squeeze. "I'll always protect you. It's my job," She added, chuckling softly at the poke to the side she received.

"So it's only because of your job that you protect me? Oh that makes me feel great," Alex replied dryly, flicking her gaze up briefly.

Olivia shook her head, "No. It's more then the job, you…you're one of my closest friends. I don't like to see you hurting."

Alex shifted and lifted up on arms pressed against the seat of the couch a serious expression on her face, "You can't always protect me, Detective."

"I want to try." The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. She winced internally, waiting for Alex to read the truth behind them and freak out. To get up and tell her to leave.

Instead what the blonde actually did Olivia would remember for as long as she lived. Slowly Alex leaned forward and brushed her lips against Olivia's cheek in a sweet, chaste kiss. Olivia had to bite back a moan at the feel of full lips brushing against her skin and warm breath washing over her ear.

"My hero," Alex whispered, dropping another kiss upon the warm cheek before pulling back once more.

Olivia blinked, looking up into blue eyes so close now. They were scant inches apart. SO close…oh so close…

"Always," The detective whispered.

A grin lifted the corners of the blonde's lips in a pleased grin. "I like that." Her voice was soft, inviting.

Olivia looked right into Alex's eyes, wondering if she was reading things right, or if there was any other way to read a woman leaning over you, so close to your face and looking at you like…like 'that!' She wanted to close the distant, but was afraid of being hurt, of being wrong. "Alex." She didn't know if she even said the words or if she only mouthed them, but suddenly she found Alex moving closer, blue eyes closing and the blonde head tilting ever so slightly. A flash of Saturday came back, but this time she knew Alex wasn't drunk. There had been no glazed look and Olivia knew for a fact that the half filled wine glass on the table was only the second one the blonde had imbibed in that night. _'Holy crap!'_ She thought, her own eyes slipping closed as she waited for the press of lips against her own.

"I'm back!"


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Cooking

Disclaimer: These don't belong to me, just borrowing them

Pairing: Benson/Cabot (though if you're reading this and still haven't figured it out…come on)

A/N: Part Four (wow) of my "Actions" series. First is "Running", Second is "Dancing" and third is "Inviting".

-=-

The two quickly jerked apart, flushes covering both faces as Alex buried her face in Olivia's shoulder.

"You've got to be kidding me," Alex mumbled, earning a chuckle from Olivia that seemed to be infectious as the two women soon found themselves laughing until they were breathless.

Wiping away the tears Alex climbed off Olivia and turned to Danny who was looking at them strangely.

"What's so funny?"

Olivia felt heat rush up her neck as she realized she'd just been caught in a compromising position with the young girl's aunt.

"Nothing honey. Did Jason get home okay?" Alex asked as Olivia stood up. She took this chance to pick up her glass and walk into the kitchen. There she poured it out and refilled it with water, taking a deep swig of the cold water before lifting it to place against her warm forehead. 'I cannot believe I was about to kiss Alexandra Cabot…and she was going to let me!' Giddiness filled her, making her lightheaded. She didn't know what was going on, if it was a spur of the moment thing brought on by the need for comfort, or it was an actual need from the heart, but either way Olivia found herself clenching tighter to her glass to keep from dropping it due to the tremor in her hand. 'Too much thinking…'

Her eyes were drawn to the clock over the stove and she was surprised to see that it was a lot later then she had expected.

"Hey."

Olivia turned towards the soft voice, unable to keep from smiling. "Hey yourself." Alex walked closer, depositing the still half full glass by the sink. "Danny still up?"

"No, she's getting ready for bed right now."

"I should probably go soon," Olivia said softly, brown eyes glancing at the clock once more. She didn't want to go, but she knew she had to be at the station early tomorrow morning. Besides, Olivia knew that if she stayed she may do something both would regret.

Alex nodded with what looked like disappointment flashing in blue eyes. Strangely that made Olivia feel a bit better.

"Thanks for inviting me," Olivia said, looking to Alex's face.

"Thanks for accepting," Alex said softly, stepping closer. Neither moved.

"I should probably go,"

"Probably."

Pause. "I don't want to."

"I don't want you to either." Alex smiled, slowly slipping her arms around Olivia's waist and pulling the older woman into a close hug. Olivia slipped her arms around Alex's body and held her close.

"I think we have a lot to talk about," Olivia whispered into sweet smelling blonde hair.

"Yeah. But not with my ten year old niece in the other room," Alex admitted, leaning back slightly. Blue eyes warmed, reminding Olivia of the sea one afternoon when her mother had taken her to the beach as a child. Warm, inviting and fathomless. And there was nothing the Detective wanted more then to fall into them.

"Good night, Alex," Olivia said, forcing her arms down to her side and stepping back. Nothing had ever been so hard in her life. She made her way to the door, while in her mind she kept repeating, 'Left foot, right foot, don't turn around. Left foot, right foot, don't turn around. Left foot…' She reached the door and started to reach for her jacket when a warm hand on her forearm stopped her. She turned to see Alex standing before her. She opened her mouth to speak but was stopped by soft lips pressing tightly to her own. It was sweet, soft… 'And too quick!' Olivia whimpered mentally when Alex pulled away.

"Good night, Olivia," Alex said, her voice holding a soft chuckle, obviously finding amusement at the closed eyes and pout Olivia knew her face sported. "Liv?"

Brown eyes blinked open and she nodded. "Right…leaving…night," She mumbled, grabbing her coat and opening the door. Her brain was short circuited, able to only focus on the kiss and the earlier sensation of holding Alex. She came to the elevator and got inside, all but collapsing against the wall when the door closed behind her. 'God that woman's going to be the death of me if my body is reacting like this to just a kiss.'


	6. Author's Note

To all who have been waiting for an update, I'm sorry. For a long time I've had to check out because things have been difficult and writing was no longer my priority. Also I'm actually discontinuing my Action series because I'm trying to put it all together into one long story. I had started with Running which was supposed to be a one shot, but it grew. The problem was I didn't really have a plan and quickly ran out of ideas. So I'm sorry, but hopefully soon I'll have a new story to give to this.

Thanks for all those that have read and enjoyed my stories. They definetly helped my spirits when I was down.

Smurph


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